Consumer Vexation

Dear Wal-Mart:

Fat people come in many heights. Many of us used to be skinny people, but our weight gain did not affect our heights as we expanded.

So why, Wal-Mart? Why do I magically grow shorter in your eyes once I cross over the fat barrier? Why can't I get any long inseam jeans to cover my ample hiney when you have long inseam jeans for skinny people? You used to have tall fat jeans, I remember. Why do you not have them when I need some frickin clean jeans to wear on my trip tomorrow and my only jeans are dirty and I can't wash them because the blanking washer is in my bleeping mother-in-law's blanking suite and it's past her bedtime?

This might be my punishment for shopping Wal-Mart.